I think I died a long time ago.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
