Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
