i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
