I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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