we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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