He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
