I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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