i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize