Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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