U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
