Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
