We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize