i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
