either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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