I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
