I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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