I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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