get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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