I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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