so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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