i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
