Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
