and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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