I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
