Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
