Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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