the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I could make wine with my vomit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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