She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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