he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
