What did we do last night that was yellow?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sober January is a disaster.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
