WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
