I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
