so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
