Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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