She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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