..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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