the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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