Having a random hookup so left but love u
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
