I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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