Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
