I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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