I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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