oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
