From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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