How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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