How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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