no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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