flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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