my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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