Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
