I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
