fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
