Do you still have your period?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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