I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize