She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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