Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
