Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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