TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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