i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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