smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
