Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
