You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
